I was not making any progress at all,
or I felt like I was in a constant state of repetition.
I realized my lack of progress by coming across and re-reading my three-month diary which
I had kept during my solo journey to san francisco twenty-one years ago,
and which I had completely forgotten about.When I finished reading the diary,
I felt a sense of relief for no special reason. At the same time.
I felt like I had a project in mind that was in a holding pattern.
In the winter of 2017, I decided to make another solo journey to San Francisco.
The feeling I had was of a slightly old fart back on school trip.
On the day of my departure, I went to Osaka International Airport from Nishinari by bus.
After connecting to this means of transportation and that,
I finally arrived at an inn in the Italian section of the city,
North Beach near Chinatown. Immediately
my mind wandered back in time and my legs transported me around the neighborhoods
while my eyes seemed to want to confirm the surroundings.
At the top of the hill, I saw the sea. While going down the hill, and as I approached the water,
I thought to myself that it is not that appealing to always think with your head.
When suddenly I became unable to recognize where I was walking,
I went in an unexpected direction as if transfixed by a mysterious feeling, that is to say,
I had no sense of true direction. When I was moving around impulsively,
I felt a feeling of revitalization. While taking these photographs,
I rekindled that sence of excitement and thrill by just being on the streets of San Francisco.
After returning to Nishinari, I stayed in my darkroom and looked at the film and prints over and over.
As the days of my life unfold, I think about one thing or another that I have postponed.
I know l have struggled and stumbled in my own way over the last twenty years.
However, the place I seemed to have reached is my true starting point.
I have felt the laughter welling up in my heart, and l wonder why it took so long.